3 Signs you might have a toddler:

1. Tantrums. Please don’t take my toys away, why don’t you understand me and I’m so tired I might explode tantrums. I’m not so much a fan. Unless there are some true sadist moms out there I don’t think any mommies thinks to themselves “Yay, tantrums! This phase is going to be so much fun!”

2. Dirty Fingernails. A side effect of getting into everything is the accompanying dirt. The dirt I could do without but the running around getting into everything is pretty fun.

3. Parental Insecurity. It goes something like: “I’m so embarrassed my kid is still using a paci, what will strangers in public think.” “I cannot believe little so-and-so is throwing a tantrum in the middle of insert-painfully-public place; what will people think.” “I think my little sweetie is language/gross motor/fine motor/long division delayed, what do I do?!”