Ikea is like church.

At church you sit through a sermon, some of it appeals to you and some of it doesn’t. At Ikea you walk through the displays, some of it appeals to you and some of it doesn’t.
After the sermon there are usually snacks for the congregation. After walking through the displays you can stop for a snack in the cafe.
At church you give money to the collection plate. At Ikea you buy a collection of plates.
At church you learn that Jesus was a carpenter, he built things with his hands and he died for your sins. At Ikea you learn that you are a carpenter, you must assemble your furniture by hand, and when it doesn’t go well you curse a lot, and that’s a sin.
When you go to church, you get a lot of things you need, and some things that you didn’t realize you needed until you got there. When you go to Ikea, you leave with the trashcan and the lamp which were actually on your list and: a cutting board, a mirror, some storage containers, a new toy for the kids and a stomach full of Sweedish Meatballs.
I think it might be time to find an actual church…
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