This post is going to jump around a bit, unless that wasn’t clear based on the title, but bear with me- I’ll make it worth your while.

I mentioned recently that I started back on my SSRI to help treat my PMDD, or PPA, or general anxiety, or whatever you want to call it. I’m not so much concerned with the diagnosis- the only thing I worry about is that I’m feeling good and healthy and treatment is effective.

Fast forward to a month ago when I announced on Facebook/twitter that my cat also needed an SSRI.

For the last 2 years she has been licking off her fur.

I kept waiting for it to get better, in the EXACT same way I waited for my own mental state to get better (this statement is more true after the birth of Jack and Henry when I never sought treatment and waited a long time before finally caving in and seeking help, respectively). But the fact remains, I sat back watching Monkey become more withdrawn and lick more of her fur off until finally she was bald on her entire stomach and nearly bald on all 4 legs and tail.

I am taking 50mg of Zoloft and Monkey is taking 2.5mg of Prozac daily. Peas in a pod, we are.

I do from time to time question the necessity of my daily pill habit.
“Is it really making a difference?”
“Do I really need it?” “Maybe I should stop taking it.”
“Life is hard for everyone, maybe I should stop trying to be perfect all the time.”

I have gone off my happy pills on more than one occasion. There is no real consequence. Unless you count my increased irritability, decreased productivity and general crankiness. There is no visible evidence of the change. No obvious markers.

And then there is Monkey.

She went from hiding under the bed, hissing at the kids, and trying to turn herself into a sphynx to happy, snuggly and full-furred.

So the next time I think about stopping my meds I will think of monkey and remember I’m just one pill away from hairless and hiding under the bed.