I am at the beach for 5 days. Celebrating the start of summer. My husband, who annoyingly updates me minute-by-minute as to the condition of his lower lumbar (and the yoga teacher and doula in me see what he could to to combat his bad genes). But I just try to listen and feign sympathy while he talks about every twinge and ache.

Until he ended up in the hospital on Sunday.

He was at a health food store picking up some remedies that have helped him in the past when the cart moved in a way that caused him to need to catch his footing and then the whole left side of his body seized up.

He called me in tears.

He needed help. He needed to go to the ER. He hates hospitals as much and I sometimes do- so when he voluntarily sends himself to one- I know this is no BS.

Because I am with my parents and away from my car and all our stuff it would take me 5 hours to get to him. So I activate the phone tree and see if someone can help him get to the hospital. My friend comes to the rescue (at this point I’m sure I owe her several dinners!!!) and takes my #brokebackhusband to the local ER.

He waits In the ER for hours- sitting is the most painful position for him. (I would have shamelessly laid on the floor if it were me- infectious diseases be damned.) If I come back I have to bring the kids- 3 kids in an ER (for about 7 hours as it turns out) would have added to his stress, not helped. So finally he called his parents. Who called a local friend of the fam.

Between his stand-in mom and his dad and my friend (his mom got stuck at home taking care of their neurotic cat) he was well cared for. But now he is so doped up that he is downright annoying to talk to. More than usual- shocking! I know!

They gave him a shot of anti-inflammatory drugs into his back. And some muscle relaxers and pain pills. But that wasn’t enough. So they had to shoot him up with something that he says is “making me feel much, much better and making me feel a little foggy.” (But really he is waaaaaaasted.) So now he is a morphling addict.

And I’m still stuck 100+ miles away worried about the poor hot mess of a man. But he is my hot mess!! At least he is in good hands.