I haven’t been consistent in the blog-updates as of late. Why? I guess I’m just busy.
I’m certainly updating twitter, the FB page and Instagram. But, honestly, it’s kind of daunting to try to decide on a blog topic and write several coherent sentences (if not paragraphs) about one subject.
Therefor, in lieu of a single topic with coherent flow, I’m going to write about a few completely unrelated things. First thing’s first:
Whatever you put out in the universe is what you will get. It’s a simple idea- it’s the 3 fold law (remember the movie The Craft), its the golden rule, it’s karma. A few years ago I was what is best described as ‘chronically cranky’. I was negative, angry, I complained and was deeply unsatisfied. Like a tornado my negativity drew more negativity and chaos towards me. Yoga teacher training was a key tipping point for me. The amount of time and energy I was spending judging other people and trying desperately to boost my own sense of self was utterly exhausting and I could no longer ignore it. Slowly, almost inspire of myself, things changed. I stopped being annoyed by other drivers on the road. I started making small talk with strangers. I slowed down, calmed down and laughed more. I’m not perfect, I’m not an expert. Not even close. But somewhere between boosting my own ego by blindly judging others and taking a vow of poverty and moving to Tibet I found happiness.
Perhaps unsurprisingly it was hidden in plain sight. In my cup of tea. In pushing my kids on the swings. In planting in my garden. In downward-facing dog and warrior II. In seeing what’s new with friends and family and feeling simple joy in their successes. Like my tornado of negativity I find I’m now surrounded by positivity, hope and kindness (from many of the same people). People who may have felt the only way to connect with me was to complain with me are now free from that burden.
It is really fantastic!
I’ve been speaking with potential doula clients this month and the best part about that whole transformation is I am so ready for this career. I have no agenda. No baggage to speak of. I’m really and truly ready to serve laboring women. I will rub feet and rub backs and help them breathe by breathing right along side them. I am not the star of the show. I am the stage hand.
Doctors and nurses help women deliver babies every day. It’s a day in the office for them. But for each family I help- this is their moment, their miracle, the magic of becoming a family. It’s the biggest day of their lives and I will do anything, no judgment, no fear, no agenda to help see their magical day from beginning to end. Because when that day is over their new life begins, and I hope to see it begin on the right foot.
The growing season is drawing to a close and we have learned a lot about our first year in our forever home, growing a real garden, subsidizing our CSA bounty each week with our garden’s own humble offerings. So far we know we want more fruit. More blueberries, blackberries, strawberries and raspberries. Fruit never lasts long in this house. More herbs (they are great at helping keep bugs at bay! Even if we don’t plan to harvest them I hope to have a few herb plants in each garden area. Potatoes, broccoli, peas and onions. In our world we can never have enough! Tomatoes: let’s just say I have 6 packages, and I hope to use them all next year! Jack has been asking if we can grow pumpkins next year. Who am I to deny a budding farm enthusiast his dream?!
I’ve been using the sewing machine a lot more now that it has its own place in the new office. And I LOVE it! I love that I’m more productive. I love that the playroom is still totally functional and my sewing things are safely out of reach of the trouble-seeking small people. If I’m working on something I can easily stop what I’m doing to attend to any one in any kind of crisis. When ever I can I just return to my work. As seen on Instagram I’ve had a little spurt of productivity, and it’s been lovely!
I can’t promise more consistent updates, but I can tell you it is my intention to do better. We shall see how it all shakes out! How are you? Any deep thoughts or new projects coming your way?
Be sure to share with friends!